The Crime Statistics

If you skimmed the last post, you will have noticed that now we are getting submerged in crimes. We can’t cope with the level of law enforcement required, we simply have not got the necessary detective capacity. What with the added demands of childcare, ADHD, OCD, aspergers, altzheimers, alcohol, eating disorders and middle child syndrome, what to do? We are few, in an ocean of misdemeanours and malfeasances & socio-psychopathy.
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Studies have shown that on average 57% of statistics are wrong and scientists have proven that the levels of criminality have nothing to do with the Police. The real explanations have to do with the level of lead in the air, in the water, the food and the ground. Also the level of employment, advertising, stress, education, the amygdala & prefrontal cortex, as well as the wellbeing factor, the recording methods of the Financial Conduct Authority and the Independent Parliamentary Financial Authority.
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Logistics studied the feasibility of surveying the nuraghe fields with a SOCO team to check for forensics, but we have not got the budget even for a boat trip round the Maddalenas, never mind doing a GPS sonar phys, or a thorough inch by inch examination for signs of counterfeit antibiotics.
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We decided to go for a landing-from-the-sea approach. Mac & Luke stormed the beach in a RIB, while Bol & Pasta scared the occupiers with horrible howls and garish colours. Mac was toppled out of his landing craft and suffered a nasty shock. Pasta donned flippers to make quick getaway and only Bol remained calm.
Luke & Sam dived off the jetty, with just Mark & Mac & Kiki for audience. But very impressive dives. Mac said he might push Pepei off the jetty, if he gets the chance.
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Midday was genuine self-catering on the balcony for 9 diners- Generally it was somewhat shambolick but very nice pasta and the kids fell asleep before the end of lunch. Birra panace, spaghetti con salsa di pesto balsamico, prosciutto de la regiona, insalata caprese di pomodori e mozzallera di buffo, sliced boiled eggs, grated formaggio emmentaler, diced avocado pear, salami, spit-roast chicken, dolci artiggiani, grapes, sorbetti mirtillo ice lollies, caffe. Todo bene.
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And just when we were about to give up, we got a real clue. An old snout of Montalbini’s said there was “snow” in them hills if you knew where to look!! This was the break we had been looking for. We grabbed the Cinquecento and motored West.

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