RIVA AZZURA – Fishin in the blu

The giant's bottom
The giant’s bottom

So, for refusing to pay the whole of their bill, Casimir and Donatella were entered in the hoteliers’ Little Black Book, or more like Big Corporate Database and they will never be able to stay in any 4 or 5 star establishment in Europe again; unless Donatella is related to Signor Berlusconi. A private dick was hired to track them around the country and a report was filed with the SSPCC – La Societa Sardina per Preventare la Cruelita a le Chihuahuas.

We adopt a rigorous fitness regime to solve this enigma: dippin in the resort Jacuzzi pool, swimming by the beach, digging in the sand, swinging on the swing and bouncing in the trampoline. Birthday cake with ice cream and candle.
2013-08-25 19.03.09
Then a crocodile disappeared and the mood changed quite markedly. It was seen creeping along the sand in the mid-morning and some said was suddenly dragged out to sea and sucked into the vortex. It was like the new Lido Line in London which enables people to swim safely to work with changing stations along the network. But this was a strange and evil force.
At this point, let’s recap. There are three children – Bol, Mac and Pasta.

Pasta, Bol & Mac in conference in Cannigione.
Pasta, Bol & Mac in conference in Cannigione.

Six “grown ups”- Sam, Sarah, Kate, Luke, Kiki & Pepei. Two suspects – Casimir & Donatella, so far three crimes – disappearance of croc, non-payment of hotel bill, anti-biotic faking. One unexplained untimely demise of chihuahua (not in the crime statistics); one police detective and one private eye.

Time to seek expert assistance; we made a Skype call to Vortices-R-US, but can’t use Skype for emergencies. So we rang Charibdis HelpLine and they assigned Inspettore Montalbini to our case (not so Sicilly!).

The early Christian evangelists, Sant Davide & Sant Antoni were twins or cousins, no one is quite sure, but they did look very alike and so people often confused which one of them went where and when. According to scripture, it was Antoni who came to Sardish lands bringing the new belief around 15 AD and his twin travelled to Western Britain and Pembrokeshire. And then, due their closeness, they organised a lot of cultural exchanges between the Sard lands & Pembrokeshire – town twinning, school visits, eisteddfod tours and women’s institute swops etc. A company called Package Pilgrimages laid on trips between Druidston & Northern Sardegna. A journey to Sant Antonio di Gallura was worth half a holy land crusade and the food was much nicer. Thus the archaeology demonstrates the close link in culture and spaghetti between the Olbia area and St Davids city. Both of these cultures cook lamb in a hole in the ground, lined with rocks & green leaves, both have mountains and forests and both have dragons that squirt anyone & anything within range.

And linguistic analysis clinches the connection: the same words are found in Welsh and in Sardish for innumerable everyday items like for example – ‘hoover’, ’Coca Cola’, ‘hamburger’ and ‘Gin & Tonic’. That’s why so many Sardinians speak Welsh & vice versa. Also, a lot of Jewish people were transported by the Romans to Sard and this explains the lozange patterns on the traditional weaving, which are often black & white, Yiddish-style. They don’t sell any sardines in the wet fish shops in Sardinia, but you can get a lot of cod from local historians.

The private investigator discovered that Casimir & Donatella both had bank accounts in Montenegro, where you can stash dirty loot in secret and need pay no tax. He linked them to a crime syndicate in Arzachena which labels pills of white washing powder as pure penicillin for export to Africa. We could ignore this outrage no longer: action was called for! Right away we instructed Jasper to bite any fake antibiotic dealers. Our plan was to surround the warehouse and Belle would create a distraction then Max wold squirt them. It was a no-brainer.

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