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Yummy Capri Cake recipe
Ingredients: 300g chopped almonds, 250g butter, 250g sugar, 125g dark chocolate, 5 whole eggs, vanilla essence, icing sugar.

Cream together the sugar & diced butter in a bowl. Add the eggs, one at a time, beating until each has been completely absorbed into the mixture. Add the almonds & chocolate, both chopped, and the vanilla essence. Grease and flour a cake tin of about 25 cms diameter and pour the mixture into it. Bake in a pre-heated oven at 180 degrees for 40 minutes. Turn the cake out of the tin and leave it to cool, then sprinkle with icing sugar.
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Pure organic yellow, tastes of Capri. Microbottles to get through Ryanair weight limits – 5ml, $150.

Ethical caprese Espadrilles
The special buy this season are hand-made espadrilles. Don’t be seen dead in your cruel chinese espads this year. These little beauties are ethically sourced from organic grasses which are sustainably grown under humane conditions. The stitching is done by a refugee project to create employment for displaced women. The women are given regular tea breaks and are paid in real money. You can buy one espadrille at a time, if you prefer, but this does work out just a little bit more expensive. In red or lime green polka dots, sizes 35 to 45, $450 pr.
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Giardino sculptuarios
From a genuine caprese stoned artist – roman arches, model Fiat cinquecentos, reproduction pizzas, skimpy bikini tops in marble or granite or rusty old cast iron. $10,000 per kg, shipping extra.
Imagine coming all this way and NOT seeing The Blue Grotto. Sadly the grotto is closed for maintenance and so we will miss a thrill. Also it is raining and Capri is not very well adapted to rainy days.
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Have your jeans personally distressed and torn by an expert – at the knee, at the thighs, round the bum, wherever. You need never again have the same tears as the next person. Luigi Jinstireesi will prepare for you a unique item of fashion apparel, for just $997 + cost of jeans. “mmmmmmm”
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Diamonds, coral, gold, silver, platinum
Rings, bracelets, bangles, pendants, necklaces.
oooooh! aaaaah! ooooh! aaaaaah!

Sponsor customer orientation training
We have been conducting a small covert war against Citalia’s main taxi driver. He lacks all social graces and eau de toilette,he is uncouth, bossy and obnoxious. But the campaign is not going very well, because he is their only taxi driver at the harbour and we cannot get back to the harbour any other way. So we are now planning to withdraw our forces and having trained the locals, we are confident that Citalia will be able to maintain their own customer relations standards, but we may station some reserve trainers here on a long-term basis. This is a crowd-sourced project, so if you would like to contribute, send $25.00 quickly to Mark Neuman, a/c no 1234, Lehman Bros Bank, New York = You know it makes sense.
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Animal Welfare Appeal
We want the French and United States Governments to stop anyone using puppies and kittens as shark and alligator bait. Together we WILL put an end to this!

Because this is horrendous and hideous. Can you imagine the fear these animals must be in the last minutes of their lives? No living being deserves to be treated and used this way. These are private fishermen and the penalty is ONLY 2 years and a…See More at or don’t.

Diamonds, coral, gold, silver, platinum
Rings, bracelets, bangles, pendants, necklaces.
oooooh! aaaaah! ooooh! aaaaaah!

3 thoughts on “LIFESTYLE SECTION

  1. I have an octopus pendant carved in coral on a gold chain that we bought in Capri. You have to be careful you don’t twist your ankle in espadrilles- that doesn’t look chic.
    Ciao ! x

  2. Mark, how much for one of the Faraglioni? the small one will fit well on the roof of my neighbour!! before I send you money for it, check the weight, I do not want you to get in trouble with Ryanair!

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