CAPRI – BLING BLING FLING STING

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The plot thickens. Hiding out as a novice in the nunnery, Rimedia Odora beckoned me to a quiet corner of the yard, to speak one on one. She whispered “the penguin of Capri has kidnapped the parrot”, but, just as I was about to unravel this cryptic clue, we were distracted: the sister treading the grapes, Maria Farta Confessopettes, was zapped by some kind of laser-taser beam of red lightning. The poor girl collapsed in the grapes, lay almost lifeless and then suddenly let out the most humungus explosive fart you ever heard. The stink was overwhelming, they eat a lot of cabbage, birds and flying insects fell from the sky into the wine pulp. Rimedia Odora said “you see: this is not just a Kiss Kiss Bang Bang B movie!”. Now we have to reach Capri, and in a hurry.

We take the 8.02 Chianti regionale express from Siena, then the inter-city 125 from Chiusi to the South. At the harbour, a HydroJetSkiFoil disgorges 967 Korean daytrippers and picks us up for the crossing.
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The Capri penguin is mother superior of the order. She runs the biscuit business: in Siena it is Garibaldi, Napoli is Bourbon town. Capri is caprese capricious.

Yippee skippee dippee we reach CAPRI
In the old days, they liked to build in really awkwar places like on steep mouuntainsides and at the end of narrow tortuous paths, hanging over the cliff. The most instantly striking feature of Capri is No cars or taxis to your hotel. Nothing is allowed to detract from the film set of bling bling bling shopping. Every last luxury brand name you ever heard of, is here in cute little boutiques with sheer vitrine displays. Rich people look much like the rest of the population, but they wear their jumpers on their shoulders, so you can tell them apart.
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Here are some of the beautiful people we have met in the last couple of days:
We bumped into Richard & Liz in the harbour. So charming.
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Don’t you just love the necklace?
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But the air is balmy and breezy, the birdsong quite wonderful. The nightingales sing all around the rock cliff from dawn.

How d’ya like them apples?

How d'ya like them apples?
How d’ya like them apples?

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Now, in the relentless search for the gang leader, we must check out the Blue Grotto, the White cliff rocks and the dirty brown stain in the shower.
Imagine coming all this way and NOT seeing The Blue Grotto. Sadly the grotto is closed for maintenance and so we will miss a thrill. Also it is raining and Capri is not very well adapted to rainy days.

We have been conducting a covert war against Citalia’s main taxi driver. He is uncouth and bossy and obnoxious. But the campaign is not going very well, because he is their only taxi driver at the harbour and we cannot get back to the harbour any other way. So we are now planning to withdraw our forces and leave Citalia to maintain their own customer relations standards.

2 thoughts on “CAPRI – BLING BLING FLING STING

  1. Capri holds many great memories for us ! Are you going to Positano and if so Ravello! We will go there when the children have left home ! X

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