Cairo, Giza, Memphis, Saccara – I think we’ve got most of it clear, but we got frightfully tired in the sun and some minor details may be missing.   There’s a book if you need more.

20 million people and 40 million cars & lorries & buses and you can tell they are in revolution because they are all dented and scratched and rusty as the people have no time to wash and polish them and repair all the bumps & dents and rusty metal bits; instead they honk  their horn.

There is a scandal about illegal, unlicensed blocks of flats built alongside the flyover because they don’t include windows and the buyers or tenants have to “finish” the flats after buying t hem.  The question whether to mash them down or what to do? They line perfectly with Orion on the Summer solstice the vendors are said to look like half human & half animal capitalist zombie scarabs; they have made a huge lot of profit from corruption and something needs to be done about it.

Many people in the tourism industry were let go due to the crisis and many had a cut in wages; the first tourists to come back were the British who were not scared at all and the French who are very interested in the history and know all the answers. At  Tahrir Square, we saw the exact same tent where the holy family stayed when they were joining the protests against the Farod killing his own people.

There is a metro to get from one pyramid to the next one and there is a road bridge of 25000 km of concrete which is the oldest bridge in the world and a crypt where the Faro is buried.

Muhammed Ali knocked out Saladdin in 1182 and then he copied the Madison Square Gardens mosque with one of his own.  Alexander the Great wanted to be Pharaoh but he got yellow fever and died in 385 B; luckily he gave the Suez Canal to Nefertiti as a leaving gift and his best friend, Ptolemy, buried him under the Marriott hotel in Alexandria (what a coincidence!).

Christiane took the ticket to crawl along a narrow passageway, but she turned left instead of right at the Grand Chamber and by accident she slid down an old rubbish chute.  At the bottom there was a room with red and blue paintings on all the walls and stone boxes and tools around.  The hieroglyphs said “We demand a Fair day’s wages for a Fair day’s work”, and “One out, all out”.

We visited the original funerary boat made of cedar wood from Lebanon which was to transport the spirit of the Farod to paradise with his 10 boatmen.  He wanted to win the X Factor and to be a star.  As he had a curvy beard, he dead.  Kahorakhty vindicated in the time of Joseph about 1400 BC.  Abraham passed through around 2100 BC.

One day Ramses II was watering his reeds and he found a baby in a basket. He took the baby to the Social Services department, but they said it didn’t have a mummy.  So he called it Moses and his name shall be glorious and he shall rule for ever and ever.

In the beginning they buried people in a hole in the ground, but the jackals used to steal the bodies.  Then the crocodiles and the hippopotami used to get them, so they hung smelly papyrus in front of the boats.  Then they pull the big blocks of limestone up the mud ramp on sleds lubricated with donkey’s milk.  At the pyramid building sites, the women could not be artisans or labourers or architects or designers, but they could serve milk and honey to the workers and dance as mysterious hypnotists to keep them entranced on their days off.  In the English-language paper for International Women’s Day, last week,  there is a front page feature about Cairo’s first ever woman taxi driver, and she is doing great.

The sphinx is half lion, half human meaning wisdom & power.  Khufu started building his pyramid on Day 1 of reign so it would be ready in time, but due to union rules, they only worked during the Nile’s flooding season.  The artisans went on strike in 15000 BC against the wage cuts and austerity measures introduced by the Hittites who had lent money to High Priest.  So Ramses signed a treaty with them and married his daughter to a leading Hittite, which ensured peace and stable broadband internet for years.

You can go on a short Nile cruise experience to see all the sights and to learn dervishing and belly-dancing with a traditional Faro’s dinner.  King Herodotus was chased from the land in 1954 by Lawrence and Omar Sharif and then they organised some excellent Son et Lumiere shows and set up chains of hotels where the visitors can buy the best quality Egyptian cotton sheets & duvets & pillows.   You can press the papyrus and extract an essence which will give you a transcendental third eye and you can buy small bottles of it from health food shops in the foyers.

Tomorrow – the Yacobian building and the British Museum – watch out for some real culture.